How the world has changed

TELL US ABOUT YOUR MENOJOURNEY

My menopause started with a much needed hysterectomy at age 50, I opted to have my ovaries removed at the same time as a precautionary action because my mother died of ovarian cancer a few years before. I did get the menopausal hot flush symptoms and found it a complete nightmare but continued to put up with as it was nowhere near as bad as the symptoms a friend was suffering at the time and thought I was being a bit woosie. Three years later we relocated to Eire to build our own house. We were living in a mobile home on site which was the ideal solution to keeping an eye on the build and not wasting money on renting but sharing with a husband and a dog who tried night after night to outdo one another in the decibel stakes of snoring was not conducive to a good nights sleep. Leaving my family behind and elderly parents also added to stress levels. Finally I had to do something about my symptoms, after trying as many of the non drug alternatives e.g red rice, black cohosh, wild yam cream even magnets worn in my knickers nothing seemed to work, I wanted to avoid going onto HRT as I was told that when you eventually do stop taking the drug you will still get menopause symptoms, is this correct I have no idea not something I felt I could cope with when I reached my seventies or eighties plus no way did I want to put estrogen into my body especially as I had had early stage cervical cancer treatment some years before my hysterectomy. By this time I was entering into the world of the internet and all the information it contained, what a revelation! I devoured as much as I could find, being a novice it was not a great deal to be fair. Now the thinking on taking estrogen is completely different from what it was when I was 50, the information I have read now is the opposite opinion, if only I had the benefit of social media then probably life would have been a whole lot easier, relying on what the GP advised and talking to friends was the only option at the time. One thing most of us agreed on was that if we had more support and sympathy from husbands we would not feel quite so alone. In my case I was made to feel as though menopause was a personal vendetta against my husband purely designed not have sex with my him. Not a shred of sympathy or help in any way, never asked after how I was feeling just made to feel guilty because I was not keeping him ‘happy.’ One of my largest concerns has been vaginal atrophy after having had two episiotomies and a third to rectify the appalling stitching in my twenties, I was never told how this would be likely to affect me in post menopause life. Several times I went to my GP to get help with painful intercourse never once was I told it’s VA just told to get a good lubricant and offered estrogen products. When it got to the stage of the skin in and around the vulva area splitting and bleeding at the slightest pressure (no more tight trousers), I finally got medical help. I now use estrogen pessaries, my self help is to use great care going to the toilet, use only baby products in the shower, including using Sudocream (yep good old nappy rash cream) if I get any splits. Plus I sleep in a separate bedroom, this has had the greatest effect, I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out why that is the best thing ever. It’s not a problem for me as I’m almost eighty now and I’m not suggesting it would be the right course for all ladies. If you have female relatives who want families do speak to them about the risks of having episiotomies they should be told of the repercussions waiting in store for them, young women don’t think ahead to the menopause and what it entails, give them the options so they can make up their own minds. My symptoms are now under control, I sleep soundly, I can wear normal trousers comfortably I still get the occasional hot flush but not as bad and not with facial sweating. I can live with post menopause now. The single most positive thing of all is that I don’t have the migraine headaches anymore. RESULT! My final thought is that doctors should be aware of the menopause and it’s effects on women’s lives. It affects mothers, it affects all the family, please don’t fob us off or tell us it’s in our imagination. In 2025 we expect more from the medical profession.

SYMPTOMS

Migraines, Dry Eyes, Weight Gain, Hair Loss, Palpitations, Vaginal Atrophy, Vaginal Dryness, Hot Flushes, Night Sweats, Sleeplessness

WHICH OF THESE SYMPTOMS HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE THEM?

Sudocream - Messy but I have a washing machine so what the hell, it helps me.

WHAT HASN'T WORKED FOR YOU?

As many alternative products as I could nothing made any difference except to my bank balance.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN? IS THERE ANY ADVICE YOU WOULD GIVE WOMEN ABOUT TO START THE PERIMENOPAUSE?

I wish I had had a mother or grandmother who talked to me about menopause but their generation never even mentioned the word.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO ADD?

Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourselves, mix with friends, exercise regularly, have a healthy diet and take advantage of all the help you can get.